When you think about the mark you want to leave on the world creating an intentional legacy is vital. Beyond tangible assets, like money or personal property, your legacy also includes your wisdom. As a role model, you bring others together and provide leadership, helping family and friends rally the causes that are important. It is essential that your legacy reflect the wisdom you have gained and how you would like that wisdom to be used by your heirs. That is why it is important that your heirs understand the “why” behind your choices.
To make a difference in the world and create communal connectedness requires the comprehending the needs of others. By transferring your wisdom to the next generation you are passing on the ability to respond. Our actions and involvement in causes attempt to make the world a place of justice and compassion.
Families grapple with differing opinions about where and how to give. We know at the core of these disagreements is the wisdom of different generations seemingly in conflict with each other. Wisdom is the integration of our guiding principles, traditions and life experiences. Regardless of age, each of us has wisdom. Each generation grows up in a specific historical time and develops their own unique wisdom. This collision of perspectives recently surfaced at a family foundation meeting.
One of the motivations of the donor/founder in setting up the foundation was to create a family legacy of service to the community by funding educational research and programs. The stewardship of the foundation had been placed in the hands of a board of directors, of which chosen family members participated. One of the sons lived in Maine, worked in technology and spent his weekends hiking and rock climbing. His participation in the meetings was minimal. The trustees were appalled that this son, representing the next generation, demonstrated no interest in the distribution of the funds or the management of the foundation. Fortunately, one of newer board members decided to personally meet with this family member.
He flew to Maine and engaged him in conversations. Contrary to his behavior at the meetings, he was thoughtful and interested. Interested with a “but.” Environmental causes were his passion. Following this conversation and recognizing his interests, this family member was able to find his place in the family foundation, adding to the lasting legacy.
The board member demonstrated true leadership and responsibility. He provided each of the adult children an opportunity to be heard. Then he set about transferring his wisdom of being responsible by encouraging each one to use their ability to respond. He had the clarity of his wisdom and was able to engage the next generation. Wisdom allows you to manage the inherent tension between your actions as an individual and those as a community member.
An added challenge to creating a family legacy is the competing societal atmosphere of material goods and monetary measures. How you communicate your wishes influences a lasting legacy. Others frequently misinterpret what we are saying and oftentimes we are not there to clarify the intention. Think of a time when you made a decision about someone’s possession when you could not ask them directly. I remember cleaning out my parents’ home following their passing. After distributing the memorabilia, family heirlooms and other treasured belongings, what was left was assorted clothing and household wares. I needed to make a unilateral decision about what to do with these usable items.
Remembering one of my parents’ guiding principles, which was to give things to people in need in a manner that will allow them to help themselves guided my decisions. Agencies that assisted individuals in getting jobs received men’s and women’s suits. The household items went to agencies that help people set-up housekeeping. Of course, I could have applied one of my personal guiding principles, but these were their belongings. You can avoid placing those important to you in a quandary about what to do with your possessions by clarifying your legacy.
Transferring your wisdom in an active fashion and engaging those important to you will influence their decisions. This can be done today. It is a known that new ideas often come from the collaboration between those who are experts with vast life experience and the less experienced.
Viewing the transfer of wisdom as an essential part of the legacy planning process gives the next generation an opportunity to learn and pass along the wisdom they have acquired themselves and through others. It begins today by taking action, by first clarifying your wisdom. Your personal clarity gives you a tool to begin reaching across generations.
Creating community connectedness can be a family project. By acknowledging each family member’s wisdom you can make the world a better place and strengthen family ties.
Focusing on the non-tangible aspects of your legacy allows you to reach across generations. While money can be an opportunity it can also turn into a handicap. Wisdom is an essential part of any plan to pass on both the tangible and intangible parts of your legacy.
Dr. James M Weiner and Dr. Carolyn Friend, creators of Gen-T Legacy Institute™ and Inheriting Wisdom™: The Legacy Process That Reaches Across Generations. info@inheritingwisdom.com
